All is Not Quiet on the Home Front: Recognizing Family and Domestic Violence
Lyndra J. Bills MD

The frequency and occurrence of domestic violence is alarming.  It is such an important factor when we try to understand why there are so many problems in our society with families.  Domestic violence occurs when there is an imbalance of power in a relationship and some type of violence is used to maintain the power imbalance.  Here are just a few of the facts: 

1. A third of American women report physical or sexual abuse by a husband or a boyfriend in their lives
2. In 2001, more than half a million American women were victims of nonfatal violence committed by an intimate partner
3. Studies show that between 3 and 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually
4. On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the United States every day
5. 40 percent of teenage girls age 14-17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend
6. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime
7. 37 percent of women who sought treatment in emergency rooms for violence-related injuries in 1994 were injured by a current of former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend
8. Access to firearms increases the risk of intimate partner homicide more than five times
9. The U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse suggests that domestic violence may be the single major precursor to child abuse and neglect fatalities in this country
10. Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to exhibit behavioral and physical health problems including depression, anxiety, and violence towards peers.  They are also more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, run away from home and commit sexual assault crimes.

The issue of intimate partner violence and family violence is not isolated to large metropolitan areas.  In China for instance, there have been long standing cultural views which have supported the belief that it is acceptable to abuse a spouse.  In a survey of rural Chinese families, spouses (women) were blamed for “bringing on” the abuse because of their unreasonable behavior.    Some studies indicate that the frequency of domestic violence is the same in both rural and urban communities, but the resources available for help may be very different.

When someone within a family abuses power, it affects everyone in the family.  Maybe not everyone appears to be directly effected but the emotional impact can present itself in many ways.  Both children and adults can suffer with depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder.  They also can have many physical problems either directly or indirectly from the abuse, and many behavioral problems.  There are higher rates of substance abuse, suicide attempts, and violent behavior.  Many children raised in dysfunctional families where violence is normalized, learn that treating children in this manner is “normal” and will thus perpetuate the cycle. 

How would you know if you were in an abusive relationship?  Here are some questions which may indicate that there is a power imbalance at home.  If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, please contact your local domestic violence hotline (Domestic Violence Services of Lancaster County 717-299-1249), the national domestic violence hotline ( 1-800-799-7233), or talk with your family doctor. 

• Do you feel like a prisoner in your own home?  Or do you feel like you are walking on eggshells to keep the peace?
• Does your partner hurt you with bad names and put downs?  Or threaten or harass you?
• Does your partner shove, slap or hit you?
• Does your partner abuse your children?
• Does your partner keep you from seeing friends or family?  Or destroy your property?
• Does your partner hurt your pets?   Or follow you, spy on you, or show up at your job, school, or friends’ homes?
• Does your partner force you to have sex when you don’t want to?
• Does your partner control all of the money? Or keep you from getting a job?

When someone is facing the problem of domestic violence it is important to know that there are resources available for help.  It is important to be able to talk to someone who will listen and can understand the impact and reality of domestic violence.  This can be a friend, a coworker, your doctor, or someone on a help line.  People who are in the middle of an active abusive relationship must focus on a safety plan.  There will need to be a plan for where to go when the situation escalates or gets more dangerous.  This is why many communities have domestic violence shelters which are located anonymously within the area.  It is good to review the options for help and to talk to someone who is familiar with these problems so that you can brainstorm about the best strategy.  Men or women who are abusive i.e. the batterer can also get help.  There are batterer’s groups and supports to help the abuser learn nonviolent ways of relating in many communities.  This is very important.  So it is good to be aware that both the abuser and the victim in domestic violence situations can benefit from treatment.  Treatment for domestic violence can be focused directly on the issues of the abuse but could also be for the other problems which arise because of the abuse.  In any case, asking questions and becoming educated are the best ways to learn new ways to cope and end cycles of violence.

References:

•  U.S. Department of Justice, Violence by Intimates:  Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, March 1998.
• Strauss, Murray A., Gelles Richard J. 1990. Physical Violence in American Families: Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence in 8,145 Families.  New Brunswick:  Transaction Publishers.
• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and The National Institute of Justice, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence, July 2000.