Health Problems and Your Sex Life

By Alan Peterson, M.D.

A chronic illness is a health problem that you have for a long time, such as heart disease, lung disease, arthritis, or cancer.  People with chronic illnesses can feel tired and depressed a lot of the time. They may have pain, stiffness, or trouble sleeping. They may need medicines or treatments that affect their sex life. They may have a surgery that changes how their body looks. As a result, they may not feel as interested in sex, or they may not enjoy sex as they used to.

• Plan sexual activity for the time of day when you have the most energy and your health problem bothers you the least.
• Be sure that you are rested and relaxed.
• Wait at least two hours after you eat.
• If you need pain medicine to feel better, take the medicine 45 to 60 minutes before sexual activity.
• Limit the amount of alcohol that you drink, and avoid using tobacco in any form.  Alcohol and tobacco can affect sexual function in a negative way.

Here are some suggestions about what you do to maintain your sex life:

• Hold hands, hug, and touch your partner, even when you do not plan to have sex.
• Use your senses to make sexual activity richer.  For example, have satin sheets on the bed, lightly scented candles, and play music.
• Tell your partner what you like and what you do not like – listen to your partner’s likes and dislikes.
• Try different sexual positions or use pillows for comfort.
• Try personal lubricants, such as K-Y jelly to help reduce discomfort with sexual intercourse.

Even with the best of intentions and preparation, there may be times during your illness that you decide that you do not want to be sexually active.  Talk to your partner about how you feel and why you feel that way.  Talk about how you can help your partner deal with his or her feelings and interest in sexual activity.