• I am sorry this happened to you. It’s not your fault.
• No one deserves to be hurt in this way. You are not responsible for his actions.

• Abuse is upsetting and confusing especially when it’s coming from someone close to you. It’s understandable that you’re feeling a lot of conflicting emotions about what’s happening.
• No, you are not going crazy! You are reacting as someone living in a stressful or physically violent situation would react.

• I’m concerned about your safety. Have you thought about doing some safety planning?
• Discuss options; trust her to make the appropriate decision

• What to do is up to you. I know where you can get some help in figuring out what your options are. There are some good resources right here in the community that offer confidential help:
  • Emergency hotlines: Safety Planning, Legal Services/Shelter
  • Counseling

DO NOT trivialize or minimize what is happening.

• You are not alone
• What you experienced was wrong.
• Abuse is never acceptable
• You deserve a nonviolent life
• You are not responsible for the batterer’s behavior
• You have the right to make choices
• You can make a better life for yourself and your children
• You have the right to be safe
• No one deserves to be hit
• You do not deserve to be treated like this
• You have a right to have friends
• You have a right to see your family
• You have a right and you have the ability to make decisions
• Its OK to want a normal healthy relationship but what you have is not OK.