Fear
1200 to 1400 women a year lose their lives to their abusive partner, many within weeks of leaving their abuser.
“He threatened to hunt me down and kill me if I left. I never felt safe. The police would come and the next day he would be right back home, threatening me all over again."
Fear that they won’t be believed if they told someone, or that they would be blamed.
“People think he’s so nice. They’ll think I am crazy.”
Fear of embarrassment, shame…previous insensitive response, inadequate response or lack of response after disclosing to law enforcement, clergy, health care, family and friends.
Family
“He threatens to take away my children and that I will never see them again.”
My mother tells me that he is a good man and that it is my fault he gets upset. She tells me I need to learn how to be a better wife.
Fatigue
Victims are beaten down long before they are beaten up.
He told me so often that I was stupid I started to believe him. A lot of time I am so tired I can’t think straight, with him yelling at me half the night.”
Faith
Many times individuals will stay in abusive relationships because of faith or cultural beliefs. Separation or divorce may ostracize the person from their community.
After I told my pastor about my husband’s physical abuse, my pastor asked me, “and what is your sin?”
Finances
The victim may have no financial resources, or job skills. Many victims have not been allowed to work outside of the house or allowed to keep their paycheck. If there are children, it becomes more difficult to leave, with no resources to get transportation, food or housing.
“Think how hard it would be to walk out your front door, down the steps with two kids on either side of you, not k owing where you are going to sleep that night or where you will get food for your children.
Hope
Hope that the abuse will end, and that the abuser will change. “I still love him. He promised me it would never happen again.”
Isolation
Often there is no access for support systems. This is especially true for vulnerable populations, teens, elders, immigrants, rural individuals and victims in same sex relationships.
